Application of the Decade

Dear Sir


I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company and

wish to apply for the replacement of the dead manager.


Each time I apply for employment I am told there is no vacancy but on this

one, I have caught you red handed coz I even attended the funeral and all

burial proceedings and made sure that he was truly dead before applying. I

can remember you saying at the funeral that he will be very difficult to

replace, meaning there is no one at the moment. Well it's your lucky day

sir; you already have found the best man for the job so look no more.


It is sad but strategic though, that he has left us, at least now I stand to

benefit as he has left a vacancy for me. For that I shall forever be

grateful for his timely death. He too always spoke of early retirement and I

guess this serves him well too. A deal that benefits all should be the

substance of a fine businessman. Ironic, yes but death is truly very fair.

Just imagine, the company no longer has to pay his retirement funds.


The company will not have to worry about paying me a relocation allowance

because he was my neighbour and it will be easy for me to simply jump over

the Durawall into that beautiful big company house. I also took it into my

hands to quickly buy a drivers' licence as I am sure the Toyota

4x4 will also be handed over to me. And sir, don't even try to cheat
me on this one because I even know the mileage reading on that beautiful machine. This just

goes on to prove that I am a determined self starter who is attentive to

detail. Amiable qualities that speak for themselves.


I am sure that after reading this, there won't be any need for a CV, just

verification if I am up for the challenge. For that sir, I will be sending

my pictures taken whilst attending the funeral and burial so that you can

see how tough I was and can be when employed. As for my referees, well the

same dead manager was my referee so we can safely skip that part.


I only hope there will be no corruption as we are all still mourning. Thanks

for advertising at the funeral because I could not have known


Yours ever smiling even in tough times.

Toughman Strong.