Monday, March 12, 2012

10 Funny Fashion Trends We Thankfully Forgot About




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Just like love, fashion has the power to cloud our judgment and make us do crazy things — things that are often documented in photos for decades to come. There's essentially no way to escape middle school or high school without following at least one horribly hilarious fashion trend of the time. We all make mistakes, so don't be embarrassed, unless you were guilty of following one of these 10 fads. We were lucky enough to push these ridiculous fashion fads out of our minds and hope they never make it into our closets again.
  1. JNCOs

    JNCOs were the epitome of '90s fashion, at least for the middle- and high schoolers who wanted to seem more rebellious than they actually were. These jeans that looked more like a giant pair of shorts that dragged the ground were all the rage for the cool guys, especially if they were wannabe skaters. They featured huge back pockets, some of which were as big as the jean leg, and graffiti-style art. Style names include the Crime Scenes, the Fat Boy, and the Kangaroos, and some had leg openings as wide as 50 inches. Thankfully, anyone who might have brought this trend back got lost somewhere in all of that denim.
  2. Stirrup pants

    Guys definitely aren't the only ones to fall into the fad of ridiculous pants. In the mid-'80s, women were donning a silly leggings-type pair of pants with an elastic stirrup that you slipped under your foot. Originally, they were designed for the practical purpose of keeping your pants in your boots, like you might find an equestrian wearing. But this trend found its way into outfits with flats or other shoes. Stirrup pants were often paired with oversized shirts or sweaters and sometimes even scrunchie socks. The tapered cut of the pants gave every girl hips that appeared much larger than their actual size, but '80s women couldn't see this very well, as they were either blind from all the neon in their closets or having vision problems from wearing sunglasses at night.
  3. Tall tees

    Just five or six years ago, men in the hip-hop scene started clothing themselves in extra-long T-shirts, or tall tees. On one hand, we were all relieved that we no longer had to look at their boxers hanging out of sagging pants, but on the other hand, never have there been so many men who looked like little boys wearing their dads' shirts. The plain white tall tees are bad enough, but some are air-brushed with the ugliest designs you'll ever see. Baggy shirts are one thing; these are just too much. At the other end of the terrible shirt spectrum is the cut-off shirts or jerseys worn by WHAM! and jocks everywhere in the 1980s. Surely we can find some middle ground here, guys.
  4. Foot binding

    This trend wasn't so funny as it was extremely painful. For centuries in China, and only finally outlawed in the early 20th century, binding a girl's feet to make them small and desirable to men was a common practice among the upper class. Women would break the bones in their daughters' feet and wrap them up tightly, continuing to do this as they grew. If you didn't bind your feet, it was likely that you wouldn't be able to find a good husband, probably having to settle for someone from a tribal minority. These tiny feet were supposed to look like "three-inch golden lotuses," but they ended up just being a disabling deformity as the women aged.
  5. Whale tail

    This is the polite way of saying a trashy girl is walking around with her thong strap sticking out of the back of her jeans. We all have tried to block these days out of our memory and keep praying that this disturbing fad never comes back. In the early 2000s, low-rise jeans and thongs were the major fashion statement, and you could find all the hottest celebrities and models sporting the look, from Britney Spears to Hayden Panettiere. Of course, that quickly got out of hand as normal women who weren't quite as skinny or attractive got in on the action. Luckily, public thongs seem to be a thing of the past.
  6. Bustles

    Sir Mix-a-Lot would've loved the women of the 1870s, with their big butts and small waists — at least until he realized their "back" was all due to the little fashion device called a bustle. These butt boosters, which were really used to support the heavy fabrics being draped on the back of a woman's dress, were made from everything from horse hair to wires to springs. They helped the train of the dress cascade attractively down the back of the dress and while they may have been more comfortable (and take up less space) than the crinolines that came before them, there was still no way for a lady to sit very comfortably.
  7. Platform sneakers and flip-flops

    Short people and Spice Girls lovers couldn't get enough of this trend in the '90s. Sneakers, which are typically worn for comfort or being active, suddenly became a dangerous fashion accessory. How many twisted ankles were caused by these five-inch-high soles? The platform flip-flops that came along with this trend were even more risky, since you weren't laced securely into the ugly shoe. Platforms certainly weren't a creation of the '90s and will probably come back in style in some way or another. But we hope the sneaker and flip-flop versions are as dead as the careers of the Spice Girls.
  8. Leg Warmers

    Did you know that leg warmers are actually useful to some people? Since they became a staple of the iconic '80s wardrobe, most people forget how they even came into being. Dancers (and other performing artists) use the accessory to keep their legs cozy while they're warming up because cold muscles are more likely to get injured. Once leg warmers showed up in classic movies like Flashdance and Footloose however, they were no longer just for dancers. They made no sense for everyday wear, but that didn't stop teens and young women everywhere from wearing them with every outfit.
  9. Rattails

    We give the mullet a hard time, but as far as hairstyles go, the rattail is even worse. The rattail is a normal hair cut with the exception of the one long piece of hair coming out the back, normally near the nape of the neck. This section doesn't go all the way across the back of the head the way a mullet does, but the effect is just as disgusting and hilarious. Some are braided, while others are left free-flowing. Some are surrounded by shorter hair, while many sprout out of an otherwise bare head. Worst of all, in their heyday, you could find rattails on both men and women. Let's all carry around some scissors in case this trend threatens to come back.
  10. Hammer pants

    We all loved M.C. Hammer, but sadly, that also meant that too many of us wanted to copy his style. Hammer pants were totally in during the late '80s and featured a crotch that hangs down to your knees. They may be comfortable, but they look like you could be sporting an adult diaper underneath. These pants have sadly made a brief comeback in recent years, going by the hipper name "harem pants," though it's hard to see what's cool about being in a harem. Let's hope they're gone for good this time.


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